Recent events in the news this week had me thinking of a series of post or at least one post covering them. But as I was browsing De Nation this morning,
This hey article caught my attention so I decided to go for the lighter stuff rather than the heavier issues. Now I can't say that I agree or disagree with the woman, but she got some valid points on some ah de issues. Like this paragraph for instance "...The reason so many women end up disappointed and sad in love affairs is because our expectations are not fulfilled. This is a major burden many women carry because we were socialised from young to believe we should be treated in certain ways by men, and should receive particular courtesies as females...."We are taught men should behave in certain ways in relationships, and when this doesn't happen, we're devastated. So ingrained are these beliefs that though our love affairs fail based on these criteria, we continue from relationship to relationship with the same expectations, dreams, hopes – call them what you like.
This is so true. I know many women who are still unattached because they have these same set of criteria. Now don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an unattached women, whether it be their choice or a failed relationship, but I often wonder about women who are unattached because some man did not meet one or all of these criteria and then she's left with a sour note in her mouth about men.
Take a friend of mine for example. A nice, well educated woman with the right assets in the right places for West Indian men and most men in general. My friend is unattached and guess some of the reasons why? First she wants a fella with the lighter complexion because she thinks that they treat women better than those of the darker complexions...go figure. So any dark skin brother that makes advances at her are dismissed simply because of the color of his skin.
Next, she wants a fella to do this, that and the other, but her actions towards him are totally different and I'm not speaking anything of the intimate nature. She wants the big house in the right neighborhood and the big car ect. The funny thing is that she want Mr. perfect to show up at her doorstep, but still yet if he does unannounced to surprise her, she has issues with that. But yet, she dosen't go out of her way to meet Mr. Perfect half way. Mr Perfect is to read her mind and be forbidden if he gets it wrong.
Now my girlfriend is of the child bearing age and is concerned that she's not married, don't have Mr. Perfect or the big house or car, she's wondering what's the deal with men. She's conceeded that she might be too old to have children. I had to tell her... my dear friend, in order to have a child you must be doing getting wid chile things... She still insisting on getting the light skinned brother to produce the perfect Leave it to Beaver family.
Back to the article. Now I think the woman in question might have gone a bit overbroad with her views. Relationships are a two-way street, you give, you get, you get, you give and sometime you give and don't get, othertimes you get without having to give, but lots of times it's the give and don't get. Accept it as part of life and maturity. Women in general do need to put away these misconceptions and expectations of what relationships should be and just accept your partner or potential partner for the person that he is and remember you get out of a relationship what you put into it.